just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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