he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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