TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.