Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
