We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
