:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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