I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
