He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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