Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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