Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize