whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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