I am in a vortex of obligation.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
