am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
