did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
