I like my sex mixed with concussions.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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