she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
