I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
