i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
