Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
