I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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