I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
