She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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