Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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