mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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