Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
