you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
