he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
