It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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