we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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