do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
