You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
