Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
