made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
