just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
