her facebook's as public as her vagina
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
