I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
