we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there