have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
