two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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