What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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