My room smells like vodka and shame
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
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i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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