that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
