we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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