OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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