I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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