So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
