My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
