Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
