I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
