2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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