i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
