i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
