All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize