he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
