apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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