Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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